Vera is terrified when she receives a letter inviting her to do a lecture tour of America, and instantly begins a search for plausible excuses. But when Ginny asks her to help present a programme on BBC Radio about modern poetry. her anxiety is swiftly forgotten. Vera sees a chance to read one of her poems on the radio and share the limelight with those two wonderfully modern poets, TS Jellitot and DH Lollipop.
Henry warns Vera not to underestimate Ginny, however, who won't allow Vera to read anything unless Ginny agrees to it... and Ginny does not think that Vera's poem is modern enough to be in her programme.
What Ginny has not bargained for is the prudery and authority of Lord Reith who will not allow TS Jellitot to appear on her programme, because his American accent will corrupt the listeners and banishes DH Lollipop from Broadcasting House because of the constant sexual references in his language.
It falls to Vera to save the day by impersonating TS Jellitot and DH Lollipop live on air and then to get one over on Ginny by reading out her poem before Ginny can stop her. The broadcast falls apart, but Vera returns Sizzlinghurst the victor. Back at home, over a brandy or two, Henry reminds Vera about the prohibition movement in America. Reason enough for Vera to wriggle out of her lecture tour. Chin chin!
GLOOMSBURY - THE SERIES
Green-fingered Sapphist Vera Sackcloth-Vest shares a bijou castle in Kent with her devoted husband Henry, but longs for exotic adventures with nervy novelist Ginny Fox and wilful beauty Venus Traduces. It's 1921, the dawn of modern love, life and lingerie, but Vera still hasn't learnt how to boil a kettle.
Producer: Jamie Rix
A Little Brother Production for BBC Radio 4.