The gardener Vera Sackcloth Vest and her husband Henry are obliged to offer hospitality to the writer of very naughty books Mr D H Lollipop and his new flame, Venus Traduces - who formerly harboured a Sapphic passion for Vera.
The guests are accommodated in the dovecote as Henry will not have Lollipop in the house, in case the cook Mrs Gosling is exposed to impertinences. Vera is hoping that Lollipop will be able to improve her prose style, but instead he seems to take pleasure in trashing her garden and redesigning her study. Lollipop is intent on awakening Venus's blood consciousness but, alas, any educational impulse involving Venus is doomed to failure.
As Venus's passion for Lollipop begins to flag, she finds consolation with the gardener Gosling on the potting bench. Despite Henry's precautions, Mrs Gosling is exposed to Lollipop's impertinences, and the outcome is unexpected and inconvenient.
Vera Sackcloth-Vest - Miriam Margolyes
Gosling, her gardener - Nigel Planer
Henry Mickleton - Jonathan Coy
Venus Traduces - Morwenna Banks
Mrs Gosling, Housekeeper - Alison Steadman
D H Lollipop - John Sessions
Produced by Jamie Rix
A Little Brother production for BBC Radio 4.