Polyoaks

Written By Phil Hammond and David Spicer.

Nigel Planer, Celia Imrie, David Westhead, Phil Cornwell and Tony Gardner star in a timely satire on the NHS set in the bewildering new world of Coalition healthcare.

This new sitcom is written by Private Eye's medical columnist, broadcaster, comedian and practising GP Dr.

Phil Hammond and David Spicer ('Double Income No Kids' and 'Three Off the Tee'.) As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power.

If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget.

Can't they? But a useless Celebrity TV Doctor, an overly-aggressive South African Nurse and a sinister GP Consortium Chairman don't make their lot any easier."

"

Written By Phil Hammond and David Spicer.

Nigel Planer, Celia Imrie, David Westhead, Phil Cornwell and Tony Gardner star in a timely satire on the NHS set in the bewildering new world of Coalition healthcare.

This new sitcom is written by Private Eye's medical columnist, broadcaster, comedian and practising GP Dr.

Phil Hammond and David Spicer ('Double Income No Kids' and 'Three Off the Tee'.) As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power.

If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget.

Can't they? But a useless Celebrity TV Doctor, an overly-aggressive South African Nurse and a sinister GP Consortium Chairman don't make their lot any easier.

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Episodes

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01012011060320110725
20140928 (BBC7)
20140929 (BBC7)

Doctors Roy and Hugh Thornton wonder what to do with sudden money and power.

First episode of a new Sitcom written by Private Eye medical columnist Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer set in the Bewildering New World of the NHS.

As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power. If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget. Can't they?

But a useless Celebrity TV Doctor, an overly-aggressive South African Nurse and a sinister GP Consortium Chairman don't make their lot any easier.

Anyone who wants to know what's really happening to the Nation's Health Service, (but can't wade through the 367 page Health and Social Care Bill) should listen to 30 minutes of Polyoaks, starring Nigel Planer, Tony Gardner, Celia Imrie and David Westhead.

Cast:

Dr Roy Thornton - Nigel Planer

Dr Hugh Thornton - Tony Gardner

TV's Dr Jeremy - David Westhead

Betty Crossfield - Celia Imrie

Vera Du Plessis - Carla Mendonca

Mr Devlin/ Patient - Phil Cornwell

Mr Ridgewell/ Mr Dawson - David Holt

Mrs Briggs - Kate O'Sullivan

Written By Phil Hammond and David Spicer

Producer/Director: Frank Stirling

An Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power.

If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget.

Can't they?

01022011061020110801
20141005 (BBC7)
20141006 (BBC7)

How will Dr Jeremy and the two Dr Thorntons cope with buying the NHS Walk-In Centre?

Nigel Planer, Celia Imrie, David Westhead, Phil Cornwell and Tony Gardner star in a timely satire on the NHS set in the bewildering new world of Coalition healthcare. This new sitcom is written by Private Eye's medical columnist, broadcaster, comedian and practising GP Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer ('Double Income, No Kids Yet' and 'Three Off the Tee'.)

As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power. If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget. Can't they?

But a useless Celebrity TV Doctor, an overly-aggressive South African Nurse and a sinister GP Consortium Chairman don't make their lot any easier.

In this second episode TV's Dr. Jeremy and the two Dr. Thornton brothers have been persuaded by their Consortium to buy the Polyoaks Walk-In centre and set up a polyclinic. It's now their Practice Manager Betty's unenviable task to show them how manage the money. Well they couldn't do it on their own, could they? Hugh's too busy playing squash with local politicians and Roy has started filming consultations. And if, God forbid, any of their patients is seriously ill, will anybody notice?

Cast:

Dr Roy Thornton: Nigel Planer

Dr Hugh Thornton: Tony Gardner

TV's Dr Jeremy: David Westhead

Betty Crossfield: Celia Imrie

Vera Du Plessis: Carla Mendonca

Mr Devlin/Patient: Phil Cornwell

Mr Stafford: David Holt

Nanny/Mrs Grafton: Kate O'Sullivan

Oliver: Hugo Docking

Written By Phil Hammond and David Spicer

Producer/Director: Frank Stirling

An Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

Nigel Planer, Celia Imrie, David Westhead, Phil Cornwell and Tony Gardner star i

This new sitcom is written by Private Eye's medical columnist, broadcaster, comedian and practising GP Dr.

Phil Hammond and David Spicer ('Double Income, No Kids Yet' and 'Three Off the Tee'.)

As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power.

If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget.

Can't they?

In this second episode TV's Dr.

Jeremy and the two Dr.

Thornton brothers have been persuaded by their Consortium to buy the Polyoaks Walk-In centre and set up a polyclinic.

It's now their Practice Manager Betty's unenviable task to show them how manage the money.

Well they couldn't do it on their own, could they? Hugh's too busy playing squash with local politicians and Roy has started filming consultations.

And if, God forbid, any of their patients is seriously ill, will anybody notice?

Nigel Planer, Celia Imrie, David Westhead, Phil Cornwell and Tony Gardner star in a timely satire on the NHS set in the bewildering new world of Coalition healthcare.

Dr Jeremy and the two Dr Thornton brothers are persuaded to buy the walk-in centre.

As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power. If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget. Can't they?

01032011061720110808
20141012 (BBC7)
20141013 (BBC7)

Dr Hugh is worried that Dr Roy has overlooked a possible communicable disease.

Written By Phil Hammond and David Spicer.

Nigel Planer, Celia Imrie, David Westhead, Phil Cornwell and Tony Gardner star in a timely satire on the NHS set in the bewildering new world of Coalition healthcare.

This new sitcom is written by Private Eye's medical columnist, broadcaster, comedian and practising GP Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer ('Double Income No Kids' and 'Three Off the Tee'.) As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power. If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget. Can't they? But a useless Celebrity TV Doctor, an overly-aggressive South African Nurse and a sinister GP Consortium Chairman don't make their lot any easier.

In this episode Hugh is lumbered with a problem patient, when Roy goes mysteriously AWOL, while cycling for his health. He's worried that Roy's overlooked a possible communicable disease, which could lumber the practice with a disastrous drugs bill and he really needs a second opinion. Trouble is there's only Dr. Jeremy on hand. Which is worse than useless. And anyway it would mean interrupting the STD clinic.

Cast:

Dr Roy Thornton - Nigel Planer

Dr Hugh Thornton - Tony Gardner

TV's Dr Jeremy - David Westhead

Betty Crossfield - Celia Imrie

Vera Du Plessis - Carla Mendonca

Mr Devlin/Mr Bourner - Phil Cornwell

All Patients played by David Holt and Kate O'Sullivan

Producer: Frank Stirling

An Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

In this episode Hugh is lumbered with a problem patient, when Roy goes mysteriously AWOL, while cycling for his health.

He's worried that Roy's overlooked a possible communicable disease, which could lumber the practice with a disastrous drugs bill and he really needs a second opinion.

Trouble is there's only Dr.

Jeremy on hand.

Which is worse than useless.

And anyway it would mean interrupting the STD clinic.

Hugh is lumbered with a problem patient, when Roy goes mysteriously AWOL.

0104 LAST2011062420110815
20141019 (BBC7)
20141020 (BBC7)

Written By Phil Hammond and David Spicer.

Nigel Planer, Celia Imrie, David Westhead, Phil Cornwell and Tony Gardner star in a timely satire on the NHS set in the bewildering new world of Coalition healthcare.

This new sitcom is written by Private Eye's medical columnist, broadcaster, comedian and practising GP Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer ('Double Income No Kids' and 'Three off the Tee'.) As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power. If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget. Can't they? But a useless celebrity TV doctor, an overly-aggressive South African nurse and a sinister GP Consortium Chairman don't make their lot any easier.

This week, to Practice Manager Betty's horror, Hugh discovers an enormous fiscal hole in the Consortium budget. Polyoaks has no money, even though they're swamped with patients, most of whom are 'frequent flyers.' The worried well may well have not very much wrong with them, but they can prove very expensive to treat. The practice has to come up with a way of getting rid of them. Hugh is advocating swingeing cuts in the treatments on offer and Roy's beloved therapies are under threat. Could the brilliant bedside manner of the incompetent Dr Jeremy provide them with a surprising solution?

Cast:

Dr Roy Thornton - Nigel Planer

Dr Hugh Thornton - Tony Gardner

TV's Dr Jeremy - David Westhead

Betty Crossfield - Celia Imrie

Vera Du Plessis.... Carla Mendonca

Mr Devlin - Phil Cornwell

All Patients played by David Holt and Kate O'Sullivan

Producer/Director: Frank Stirling

An Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

Much to Betty's horror, Hugh discovers a huge hole in the consortium budget.

This week, to Practice Manager Betty's horror, Hugh discovers an enormous fiscal hole in the Consortium budget.

Polyoaks has no money, even though they're swamped with patients, most of whom are 'frequent flyers.' The worried well may well have not very much wrong with them, but they can prove very expensive to treat.

The practice has to come up with a way of getting rid of them.

Hugh is advocating swingeing cuts in the treatments on offer and Roy's beloved therapies are under threat.

Could the brilliant bedside manner of the incompetent Dr Jeremy provide them with a surprising solution?

This new sitcom is written by Private Eye's medical columnist, broadcaster, comedian and practising GP Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer ('Double Income No Kids' and 'Three off the Tee'.) As responsibility for the Health Service is stripped from managers and handed to doctors, brothers-in-medicine Roy and Hugh Thornton are struggling to work out what to do with all this sudden money and power.

If they can diagnose acute appendicitis surely they can manage an £80 billion health budget.

Can't they? But a useless celebrity TV doctor, an overly-aggressive South African nurse and a sinister GP Consortium Chairman don't make their lot any easier.

Nigel Planer, David Westhead, Tony Gardner and Celia Imrie star in a new NHS sitcom.

0201A Question Of Psychology20121109

Have you ever wondered about the profitability of mental health? Or why your locum looks familiar? Or what's so fascinating on your doctor's computer? Or what that funny rash is? And how long he's had it? These and other questions may well be answered in this brand new series of the Radio 4 satire set in Polyoaks, that flagship of enlightened West Country General Practice at the forefront of a constantly reforming NHS.

Nigel Planer stars as Dr. Roy Thornton and Simon Greenall as his brother Dr. Hugh Thornton in a clinic always at odds with itself over diagnoses, funding, clinical commissioning groups, Jeremy Hunt and the ever more dubious commercial activities of their associate, TV's Dr. Jeremy (David Westhead), who's still diagnosing with Google, selling patent remedies and generally teetering on the brink of any number of malpractice suits.

If you want to know what it's really like to live and work in the brave new world of modern health care - or why your GP often has that confused expression on their face - visit Polyoaks and ask for a second opinion.

0202Distance Healing20121116

Polyoaks is just an ordinary Health Clinic somewhere in Bristol, but it lives in extraordinary times. General Practice is facing a revolution in health care, "the biggest shake-up to the NHS in a lifetime" - the third of those in the last five years or so. Doctors are being asked to manage their own budgets, cut costs and regularly prove their own competence. This tends to present opportunities and crises in equal measure.

In this episode, Distance Healing, Hugh is pioneering a new online diagnosis system that will save time, money and any necessity to meet patients face to face. This promises to be a money spinner too, if he can persuade other West Country Clinical Commissioning Groups to buy it. The two flies in the ointment are Mrs. Lewis, their most persistent hypochondriac who will insist on arriving at the surgery unannounced, and of course Roy, who has his own ideas about contact healing.

0203Desperately Seeking Susans20121123

In the NHS satire by Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer, a general practice somewhere in Bristol is faced with challenges and opportunities in equal measure as they adjust to another 'biggest shake-up of the NHS in a lifetime'.

This week, Polyoaks faces rocketing drugs bills as they try to implement 20% cuts. The Practice Manager, Betty, demands an audit in the pharmacy. Unfortunately, it appears drugs are going missing and it looks like an inside job. Brothers Hugh and Roy and celebrity TV doctor Jeremy are all prime suspects and Betty and practice nurse Vera turn detectives.

0204Strange Dr Love20121130

In the NHS satire by Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer, a general practice somewhere in Bristol is faced with challenges and opportunities in equal measure as they adjust to another 'biggest shake-up of the NHS in a lifetime'.

This week, Hugh is asked to chair a new government commission, so Polyoaks needs a locum. Practice Manager Betty, ever economic, appoints the cut-price option.

Everyone is relieved that curmudgeonly Hugh is out of the way, but Roy is suspicious of the interloper and Hugh's big political opportunity is not turning out quite the way he hoped.

0205The Shaky Shaky Hip20121207

In the NHS satire by Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer, a general practice somewhere in Bristol is faced with challenges and opportunities in equal measure as they adjust to another 'biggest shake-up of the NHS in a lifetime'.

Of all the doctors at Polyoaks, Hugh is the committed political mover and shaker. To get on politically in the NHS it helps to play squash. And to play squash it helps if your hip is working. Dr Hugh's isn't - and he hates going to see the doctor.

0206 LASTThe Age Old Problem20121214

In the NHS satire by Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer, a general practice somewhere in Bristol is faced with challenges and opportunities in equal measure as they adjust to another 'biggest shake-up of the NHS in a lifetime'.

None of us are getting any younger. And none of us getting any younger for longer and longer. Polyoaks' eldest patient is a sprightly 102. Something must be done to reduce the cost of caring for the elderly, while emphasising NHS clinics like Polyoaks have best practice in mind.

Will a training day sponsored by Burgerland help the staff come up with an innovative approach to looking after the crumblies - sorry, older service users?

0301In The Midst Of Life...20140606

Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer's satire on some of the major issues thrown up by NHS reform. Among the many targets in their sights are the Care Quality Commission, patient records, privatisation, whistleblowing, time wasters and patient participation groups.

Will the NHS be safe in the hands of Pfizer? Why do doctors often look sicker than their patients? Would an NHS executive go private? How are doctors revalidated? What does that actually mean? And is that piece of dry skin on your heel anything to do with the amount you've been drinking lately? These and other questions may well be answered at Polyoaks - the flagship of enlightened West Country General Practice at the forefront of a constantly reforming NHS.

Nigel Planer stars as Dr Roy Thornton and Simon Greenall as his brother Dr Hugh Thornton in a clinic always at odds with itself over diagnoses, funding, clinical commissioning groups, Jeremy Hunt and the ever more dubious commercial activities of their associate TV's Dr. Jeremy (David Westhead), who is still juggling Dictionary Corner, a series of Malpractice suits and forgotten alimony payments.

Episode 1: In The Midst of Life

In which we look to the health of our health professionals.

Written by Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer

Produced and directed by Frank Stirling

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

0302For The Records20140613

Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer's satire continues to delve into the deepest crannies of the Health Service and General Practice, as the NHS faces a crisis point in its history.

Among the many targets in their sights are the Care Quality Commission, Patient Records, Privatisation, Whistleblowing , Time wasters and Patient Participation Groups. Will the NHS be safe in the hands of Pfizer? Is whistle-blowing fun? Why do doctors often look sicker than their patients ? Would an NHS executive go private? What is NHS Change Day? How are doctors revalidated? And what does that actually mean? And is that piece of dry skin on your heel anything to do with the amount you've been drinking lately? These and other questions may well be answered in this new series of the Radio 4 satire set in Polyoaks, that flagship of enlightened West Country General Practice at the forefront of a constantly reforming NHS.

Nigel Planer stars as Dr. Roy Thornton and Simon Greenall as his brother Dr. Hugh Thornton in a clinic always at odds with itself over diagnoses, funding, clinical commissioning groups, Jeremy Hunt and the ever more dubious commercial activities of their associate TV's Dr. Jeremy (David Westhead), who's still juggling Dictionary Corner, a series of Malpractice suits and forgotten alimony payments.

If you want to know what it's really like to live and work in the brave new world of modern health care - or why your GP often looks bewildered, tired or simply lost make an appointment at Polyoaks. Remember an early diagnosis is often the funniest.

Episode 2: FOR THE RECORDS: In which nobody can agree on whether sharing patient data is really a good thing.

Written by Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer

Directed by Frank Stirling

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

0303That Heart Sinky Feeling20140620

Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer's satire on some of the major issues thrown up by NHS reform. Among the many targets in their sights are the Care Quality Commission, patient records, privatisation, whistleblowing, time wasters and patient participation groups.

Will the NHS be safe in the hands of Pfizer? Why do doctors often look sicker than their patients? Would an NHS executive go private? How are doctors revalidated? What does that actually mean? And is that piece of dry skin on your heel anything to do with the amount you've been drinking lately? These and other questions may well be answered at Polyoaks - the flagship of enlightened West Country General Practice at the forefront of a constantly reforming NHS.

Nigel Planer stars as Dr Roy Thornton and Simon Greenall as his brother Dr Hugh Thornton in a clinic always at odds with itself over diagnoses, funding, clinical commissioning groups, Jeremy Hunt and the ever more dubious commercial activities of their associate TV's Dr. Jeremy (David Westhead), who is still juggling Dictionary Corner, a series of Malpractice suits and forgotten alimony payments.

Episode 3:

That Heart Sinky Feeling: In which Polyoaks staggers under the weight of the chronically undiagnosed and all the patients who just keep coming back for more.

Written by Dr. Phil Hammond and David Spicer

Directed by Frank Stirling

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

0304 LASTWho's Afraid Of The Cqc?20140627

Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer's satire on some of the major issues thrown up by NHS reform. Among the many targets in their sights are the Care Quality Commission, patient records, privatisation, whistleblowing, time wasters and patient participation groups.

Will the NHS be safe in the hands of Pfizer? Why do doctors often look sicker than their patients? Would an NHS executive go private? How are doctors revalidated? What does that actually mean? And is that piece of dry skin on your heel anything to do with the amount you've been drinking lately? These and other questions may well be answered at Polyoaks - the flagship of enlightened West Country General Practice at the forefront of a constantly reforming NHS.

Nigel Planer stars as Dr Roy Thornton and Simon Greenall as his brother Dr Hugh Thornton in a clinic always at odds with itself over diagnoses, funding, clinical commissioning groups, Jeremy Hunt and the ever more dubious commercial activities of their associate TV's Dr. Jeremy (David Westhead), who is still juggling Dictionary Corner, a series of Malpractice suits and forgotten alimony payments.

Episode 4:

Who's Afraid of the CQC? In which the staff at Polyoaks are being assessed by the Care Quality Commission. Will they survive the experience?

Written by Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer

Directed by Frank Stirling at Unique

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

0402Hello, Goodbye20160511

Nigel Planer returns in the Health Service satire by Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer. The Polyoaks surgery is plagued by strikes, endless new management initiatives, staff shortages, militant patients, eight day weeks, privatisation - and all these things are entirely their fault, apparently.

The dysfunctional Bristol surgery run by warring doctors, brothers Roy and Hugh Thornton (Nigel Planer and Simon Greenall), alternates between embracing and collapsing under reforms. They're a nurse down, they've got to slash their budget and there's a new Head of the local Clinical Commissioning Group who eats GPs for breakfast (Margaret Cabourn-Smith).

The practice's calamitous 'celebrity' Dr Jeremy (David Westhead), who doesn't know what a Clinical Commissioning Group is, continues to dodge alimony payments, malpractice suits and the new practice Nurse Monica (Polly Frame). Nurse Monica is on exchange from NHS Scotland and is fuelled by a borderline psychotic contempt for patients and colleagues alike.

Annette Crosbie guest stars in this episode on end of life care. Polyoaks is to become a 'vanguard' site as part of the NHS 'Five Year Forward View'. Best intentions are subverted by one older service user's views on so-called elderly care.

Written by Dr Phil Hammond and Mr David Spicer

Directed by Frank Stirling

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

0403Eight Days A Week20160518

The staff of the dysfunctional West Country surgery have their work cut out to provide 'a truly 7 day service'. TV's Dr. Jeremy has a possible solution, but it remains to be seen if it's ethical. Starring Nigel Planer and Simon Greenall in the Health Service satire by Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer.

The Polyoaks surgery is plagued by strikes, endless new management initiatives, staff shortages, militant patients, eight day weeks, privatisation - and all these things are entirely their fault, apparently.

The dysfunctional Bristol surgery run by warring doctors, brothers Roy and Hugh Thornton (Nigel Planer and Simon Greenall), alternates between embracing and collapsing under reforms. They're a nurse down, they've got to slash their budget and there's a new Head of the local Clinical Commissioning Group who eats GPs for breakfast (Margaret Cabourn-Smith).

The practice's calamitous 'celebrity' Dr Jeremy (David Westhead), who doesn't know what a Clinical Commissioning Group is, continues to dodge alimony payments, malpractice suits and the new practice Nurse Monica (Polly Frame). Nurse Monica is on exchange from NHS Scotland and is fuelled by a borderline psychotic contempt for patients and colleagues alike.

Written by Dr Phil Hammond and Mr David Spicer

Directed by Frank Stirling

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

0404Back In The Nhss20160525

Neil Dudgeon and John Schwab make guest appearances as care provision in Bristol is restructured 'in order to liberate the fiscal horizon'. Will the surgery submit to supervision from the private sector or will it go under? Meanwhile one of the patients is sitting on a sensitive problem.

The Polyoaks surgery is plagued by strikes, endless new management initiatives, staff shortages, militant patients, eight day weeks, privatisation - and all these things are entirely their fault, apparently.

The dysfunctional Bristol surgery run by warring doctors, brothers Roy and Hugh Thornton (Nigel Planer and Simon Greenall), alternates between embracing and collapsing under reforms. They're a nurse down, they've got to slash their budget and there's a new Head of the local Clinical Commissioning Group who eats GPs for breakfast (Margaret Cabourn-Smith).

The practice's calamitous 'celebrity' Dr Jeremy (David Westhead), who doesn't know what a Clinical Commissioning Group is, continues to dodge alimony payments, malpractice suits and the new practice Nurse Monica (Polly Frame). Nurse Monica is on exchange from NHS Scotland and is fuelled by a borderline psychotic contempt for patients and colleagues alike.

Written by Dr Phil Hammond and Mr David Spicer

Directed by Frank Stirling

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.

0405Ladies Strike20160601

The Health Service satirical comedy by Dr Phil Hammond and David Spicer. The surgery is plagued by strikes, endless new management initiatives, staff shortages, militant patients, eight day weeks, privatisation - and all these things are entirely their fault, apparently.

In this episode, patients are complaining about the lack of female doctors at the surgery. The Polyoaks team want to recruit a woman doctor, but that is easier said than done in the current climate. And when they do find a candidate, she may be about to strike.

Written by Dr Phil Hammond and Mr David Spicer

Directed by Frank Stirling

A Unique production for BBC Radio 4.