David Sedaris wasn't always an award-winning writer and satirist. For two consecutive Christmases in the early 1990s, he was a Christmas elf at Santaland in the famous New York department store, Macy's. These are hilarious extracts from his diaries at the time.
"My costume is green. I wear moss-colored velvet breeches, an emerald smock, and a stocking cap decorated with spangles. This is my work uniform. My elf name is Crumpet, and I was allowed to chose it myself, which is something."
The Santaland Diaries drew David's writing to the attention of America and the World. He hasn't read them out loud for nearly twenty years - but has agreed to read them once more for BBC Radio 4.
The original recording of the story, made for Morning Edition on America's National Public Radio (NPR), has been aired every Christmas since it was first broadcast. A very much shortened version was also recorded by David for Radio 4 in 1996.
Crumpet, the little elf in the perky green cap, is re-born - and you'll never hear Billie Holiday in the same way ever again.