Now prithee pay heed to the rest of our cast of high and low lives - as we explain exactly Who's Who in The Castle:
Sir John Woodstock - the Lord of the Castle and basically in charge of keeping order in the ramshackle medieval village.
Although he hates all that torturing and usually lets the peasants off with a bit of community service.
He lives in his huge but slightly falling down castle (but then it was built by the French so what can one expect) with his daughter Anne and very teenage son Henry.
Anne's best friend Charlotte nearly always joins Anne on her constant quest to find fit men in the village.
In fact, they think they've found a decent one in the shape of Merlin, the new handyman and wayward wizard.
And Anne certainly isn't interested in Sir William De Warenne ("Knight errant, scourge of the Levant") who lives across the way.
Unfortunately he can't take a hint and is besotted with Lady Anne and Sir John thinks it a good match.
Ah! what is a Lady to do! Cardinal Duncan (a man of the cloth - in particular crushed silk which he loves), has to endure De Warenne's incessant plans to woo Lady Anne and has little time to peruse sweethearts of his own.
Which oddly enough, he doesn't seem to mind...