Care Of Wooden Floors

Episodes

EpisodeFirst
Broadcast
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0120120130

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly minimalist apartment in a nameless Mittel European city, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old friend, Oskar, a minimalist composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables', who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Will Wiles' absurdist comic debut is the story of an unlikely friendship between two very different men, of alienation in a foreign city, of the quest for perfection - and of how to take care of wooden floors.

Reader: Bertie Carvel. Bertie Carvel is currently playing Miss Trunchbull in the RSC's production of Roald Dahl's 'Matilda' in the West End.

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett

Original music: Kirsten Morrison.

A writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly minimalist apartment.

0120120130

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly minimalist apartment in a nameless Mittel European city, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old friend, Oskar, a minimalist composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables', who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Will Wiles' absurdist comic debut is the story of an unlikely friendship between two very different men, of alienation in a foreign city, of the quest for perfection - and of how to take care of wooden floors.

Reader: Bertie Carvel. Bertie Carvel is currently playing Miss Trunchbull in the RSC's production of Roald Dahl's 'Matilda' in the West End.

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett

Original music: Kirsten Morrison.

A writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly minimalist apartment.

0220120131

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Will Wiles' absurdist comic debut is the story of an unlikely friendship between two very different men, about alienation in a foreign city, the quest for perfection - and how to take care of wooden floors.

Today: it's Day Two in the flat, and time to explore the city. But already there's a wine stain on Oskar's pristine wooden floor.

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

It's day two in the flat, and already there's a wine stain on Oskar's pristine wood floor.

0220120131

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Will Wiles' absurdist comic debut is the story of an unlikely friendship between two very different men, about alienation in a foreign city, the quest for perfection - and how to take care of wooden floors.

Today: it's Day Two in the flat, and time to explore the city. But already there's a wine stain on Oskar's pristine wooden floor.

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

It's day two in the flat, and already there's a wine stain on Oskar's pristine wood floor.

0320120201

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: the minimalist apartment fails to inspire work, while the intrusion of an inexplicably angry cleaner does nothing to improve the situation.

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

The minimalist apartment fails to inspire work, and an angry cleaner does not help matters

0320120201

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: the minimalist apartment fails to inspire work, while the intrusion of an inexplicably angry cleaner does nothing to improve the situation.

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

The minimalist apartment fails to inspire work, and an angry cleaner does not help matters

0320120201

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: the minimalist apartment fails to inspire work, while the intrusion of an inexplicably angry cleaner does nothing to improve the situation.

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

The minimalist apartment fails to inspire work, and an angry cleaner does not help matters

0420120202

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: after further mishaps in the flat, including a battle with one of the cats, it's time to brave a classical concert.

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

After further mishaps in the flat, it's time to brave a classical concert.

0420120202

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: after further mishaps in the flat, including a battle with one of the cats, it's time to brave a classical concert.

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

After further mishaps in the flat, it's time to brave a classical concert.

0520120203

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: the morning after the night before. An alcohol-fuelled night out with one of Oskar's friends results in more mayhem in the now less than pristine flat...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

An alcohol-fuelled night out results in more mayhem in the now less than pristine flat.

0520120203

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: the morning after the night before. An alcohol-fuelled night out with one of Oskar's friends results in more mayhem in the now less than pristine flat...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

An alcohol-fuelled night out results in more mayhem in the now less than pristine flat.

0520120203

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: the morning after the night before. An alcohol-fuelled night out with one of Oskar's friends results in more mayhem in the now less than pristine flat...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

An alcohol-fuelled night out results in more mayhem in the now less than pristine flat.

0620120206

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: as the aftermath of the drink-fuelled night out becomes all too apparent, further horrors reveal themselves...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

In the aftermath of the drink-fuelled night out, further horrors reveal themselves.

0620120206

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: as the aftermath of the drink-fuelled night out becomes all too apparent, further horrors reveal themselves...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

In the aftermath of the drink-fuelled night out, further horrors reveal themselves.

0620120206

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: as the aftermath of the drink-fuelled night out becomes all too apparent, further horrors reveal themselves...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

In the aftermath of the drink-fuelled night out, further horrors reveal themselves.

0720120207

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: a desperate attempt to dispose of a body, and an even more desperate attempt to fix the wooden floors. Is it time to come clean to Oskar?

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

A desperate attempt to dispose of a body, and a more desperate attempt to fix the floors.

0720120207

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and all too inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: a desperate attempt to dispose of a body, and an even more desperate attempt to fix the wooden floors. Is it time to come clean to Oskar?

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

A desperate attempt to dispose of a body, and a more desperate attempt to fix the floors.

0820120208

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: a wine-fuelled restoration project ends in further chaos, and then the angry cleaner returns, armed with her mop...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

A wine-fuelled restoration project ends in further chaos, then the angry cleaner returns.

0820120208

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: a wine-fuelled restoration project ends in further chaos, and then the angry cleaner returns, armed with her mop...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

A wine-fuelled restoration project ends in further chaos, then the angry cleaner returns.

0920120209

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: another dead body to dispose of, this time not of the animal variety. But then an attempt to rescue the floors yields a disconcerting discovery...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

Another dead body to dispose of, this time not of the animal variety.

0920120209

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: another dead body to dispose of, this time not of the animal variety. But then an attempt to rescue the floors yields a disconcerting discovery...

Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

Another dead body to dispose of, this time not of the animal variety.

10 LAST20120210

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: with Oskar's flat in chaos, the floor ruined, one cat and one cleaner now deceased, it appears all is lost. But events take an unexpected turn - Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

With Oskar's flat in chaos, it appears all is lost. But events take an unexpected turn.

10 LAST20120210

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: with Oskar's flat in chaos, the floor ruined, one cat and one cleaner now deceased, it appears all is lost. But events take an unexpected turn - Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

With Oskar's flat in chaos, it appears all is lost. But events take an unexpected turn.

10 LAST20120210

A starkly minimalist flat drives a writer to the edge in Will Wiles' darkly comic tale.

'Thanks so much for this; you're a real friend for helping me out. I don't feel comfortable leaving the flat for so long, not with the cats... You'll like it, it's a nice flat.'

When an unnamed writer finds himself entrusted with looking after a disturbingly perfect minimalist apartment for his friend, Oskar, he looks forward to a chance to write, relax and recuperate. But all too soon, and inevitably, things begin to go wrong. The flat is owned by his old university friend, Oskar, an avant-garde composer, best known for his piece, 'Variations on Tram Timetables' , who turns out to be quite the perfectionist...

Today: with Oskar's flat in chaos, the floor ruined, one cat and one cleaner now deceased, it appears all is lost. But events take an unexpected turn - Reader: Bertie Carvel

Abridger: Sally Marmion

Producer: Justine Willett.

With Oskar's flat in chaos, it appears all is lost. But events take an unexpected turn.