Bringing Up Britain

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Mariella and her guests discuss whether shouting at children inflicts long-term damage or is an inevitable part of busy family life. As the focus on children's behaviour and parents' management of it increases, are there effective alternatives to yelling at children to get them to do what you want?

The panellists are psychotherapist Sue Gerhardt, Professor Stephen Scott of the National Association of Parenting Practitioners and journalist and writer Jennie Bristow.

Does shouting at children inflict damage or is it an inevitable part of busy family life?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Mariella and her guests ask what parents can do to help children with mental health problems and what constitutes a 'normal' level of unhappiness in childhood and adolescence. She hears from a mother who fears her unhappy 11-year-old-son will go off the rails in adolescence and a mother and daughter on the drawbacks and benefits of having a mental health diagnosis.

With guests the family therapist Jan Parker, Richard Reeves of the thinktank Demos and Roger Catchpole of YoungMinds.

What can parents do to help children with mental health problems?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Exploring step-parenting and 'blended families' from the point of view of parents, children and society.

By the age of 16, one in eight children has been through parental separation and is living with a 'new' parent. For some children such changes can be problematic, while others thrive in stepfamilies. How can parents help their children to adapt and what do we know about the impact of blended families on children?

Featuring the story of Darren, who has two teenage children, as does his partner. However, the children do not get on and Darren is worried that the situation is putting strain on all involved.

With guests Christine Tufnell of Care for the Family, Penny Mansfield from the relationship charity One Plus One, Nick Woodall from the Centre for Separated Families, and Elly Farmer, a clinical psychologist who also speaks for the Centre for Social Justice on family issues.

Exploring step-parenting and 'blended families'.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Dealing with children who don't fit in easily can be challenging for parents and teachers, but if we seek to modify behaviour and attitude too much, do we risk homogenising children?

Featuring a mother who feels that her inattentive and quirky son is a problem at home and school. She worries that she is failing him by trying to mould him to be more like her other children, but also feels strongly that he needs to fit in to get on in life.

Mariella's guests are writer and journalist Fiona Millar, youth worker Shaun Bailey, Dr Jackie Ravet of Aberdeen University and law lecturer Daniel Monk.

Does seeking to modify children's behaviour and attitude risk homogenising them?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

producer: Julia Johnson.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

In this edition they compare the experience of only children and siblings, ask how family size is changing and debate whether we're having too many children or too few. As they explore the theory of twenty-first century parenting - and the rather messier practice - Mariella and her guests share advice and some very different views on how best to bring up our next generation.

Mariella Frostrup and her guests ask whether we're having too many children or too few.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Producer: Sarah Taylor.

Mariella Frostrup and her guests debate the best way of breaking bad news to children.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Producer: Sarah Taylor.

Mariella Frostrup and her guests ask why children are becoming obese.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

The August riots in parts of England showed youngsters out of control on the streets, and put huge focus onto parenting skills.

MPs and council leaders warned parents that they should know where their children were at night and keep them indoors and out of trouble.

But parents themselves were saying they were unable to discipline their kids, either because they feared repercussions by the authorities, or because their children were simply physically too strong.

In the first of the new series of Bringing Up Britain, Mariella Frostrup is joined by a panel of experts to discuss parental discipline right across British society.

How easy is it for us to control our children, especially after they stop being biddable toddlers and begin to assert their own personalities?

Have we given children too many rights and ignored those of parents?

Can you really stop a large teenage child going out, and what restraining measures can you legally use?

And, if your child is going off the rails, how do you break the cycle and get them back into good habits?

Joining Mariella to explore these issues will be:

Charlie Taylor, headteacher and behaviour advisor to the Department of Education;

Sheldon Thomas, who founded Gangsline to help youngsters caught up in gangs and their families;

Clem Henricson, social policy analyst and Member of the University of Oxford Centre for Research into Parenting and Children;

Guardian journalist Zoe Williams.

We also find out the results of a poll commissioned by the programme into attitudes to parental discipline.

Producer: Emma Kingsley.

Mariella Frostrup asks how parents can keep control of their kids.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Many parents worry about what to say to their children, and when. And it's not just because it can all be a bit embarrassing. Mariella and her guests explore how adults' attitudes to children and sexuality colour how they behave as parents. Are we a society dangerously relaxed about the sexualised clothing, imagery and culture surrounding young people? Or, has the increased awareness of child sexual abuse in recent years made parents deeply uncomfortable with talking and thinking about children and sex at all?

Mariella explores how all of this translates into everyday dilemmas and awkward situations, and pinpoints practical solutions and useful research. Parents know that children are curious about their bodies and where babies come from, but if your five year old still exposes himself at every family gathering and your teen is online all night with the door closed, what do you do? Perceptions of what is 'normal' differ, but what do we know about how sexual identity develops, and how should that shape these conversations?

Reg Bailey, Chief Executive of The Mothers' Union carried out a recent review into the sexualisation and commercialisation of childhood, Simon Blake is the Chief Executive of Brook, a charity offering sexual health information and services. They join Viviane Green, adult, child and adolescent psychotherapist and Programe Manager for the MSc in Child and Adolescent Counselling and Psychotherapy, Dept of Psychosocial Studies Birkbeck College and Dr. Jan Macvarish from the University of Kent to debate the issues.

The columnist and writer Giles Coren talks about the why he wrote a highly personal magazine article about his baby daughter in which he imagined her future sex life. And parents who think that schools teach too much too young explain why they feel their parental authority is being undermined

Producer: Erin Riley.

Mariella Frostrup and guests on talking to children about sex.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

It's the week after Christmas, and children across the UK will have found their stockings bulging with new toys and gadgets.

But how do you decide what you should and shouldn't buy for your children? Quite apart from cost, this question has become increasingly fraught.

Ethicists and child psychologists, environmentalists and politicians, even fellow parents - all have something to say about what you buy your children.

So in this programme, Mariella and guests explore how parents make these decisions.

She asks how much attention parents should pay to what other adults might think. If we buy our children the latest gadget, does it make us feel guilty about our values as parents? And should it?

Consumer society is unlikely to vanish any time soon - so Mariella explores how we are educating the next generation of consumers. How can we empower our youngsters by teaching them about the need for limits, and about how to judge value? Can handling pocket money or learning about planning a family budget help teach them useful skills?

But Mariella also questions whether buying products is the most effective way to show your child affection. Do we decide what to buy in our children's best interests, or are we really buying for our own gratification?

We hear from parents who are faced with pester-power and explore the choices that they make in these straitened times. We also hear about the effects of deprivation on children's happiness.

The panel includes Dr. Agnes Nairn, policy researcher and author of 'Consumer Kids', Fiona Ellis, who works as an advisory member for the Personal Finance Education Group which teaches finance in schools, and Donald Hirsch who works on issues around minimum income standards.

Producer: Emma Kingsley.

Mariella and guests on what we buy our kids and who is choosing.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Are we raising a generation unable to deal practically and emotionally with adult life after years of parental indulgence and funding? As a parent, getting involved in playground disputes, obsessively supervising play and, later, University and careers can sometimes seem the responsible and caring thing to do, but is it really?

The recession and rising house prices might mean that adult children increasingly come back home or never leave. So, how do parents and adult children live together and what might we lose or gain if living with Mum and Dad becomes inevitable?

With Dr Terri Apter, author of 'The Myth of Maturity', the Guardian journalist Deborah Orr who writes about the family and society, Dr Helene Guldberg, author of 'Reclaiming Childhood: Freedom and Play in an Age of Fear' and Matt Whyman, who offers advice to young people about how to manage their parents via the advice web-site TheSite.org.

Producer: Erin Riley.

Mariella Frostrup and guests on fostering independence in children.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

In the first programme of the new series, she is joined by a panel of experts and commentators to discuss raising 'digital kids'. Can tablet games really help nurture or educate the under-fives? Should older primary school-age children engage with age-appropriate social networking sites as a form of 'training' - or should they be protected from the online world, however safely controlled, until much later?

And Mariella and her guests will explore how parents can help equip teenage children to negotiate the wilds of the internet, from cyberbullying to 'sexting'.

So, Mariella asks, to what extent has the digital world simply sharpened problems that have always faced parents - and how far has it wrought a radical change in the nature of teenage life, and what parents need to know and do to help their children through it?

With Professor Tanya Byron, Professor Lydia Plowman, Julie Johnson, Helen King (Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre) and Professor Sonia Livingstone.

Producer: Phil Tinline.

Mariella Frostrup and guests explore the issues involved in raising 'digital kids'.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

We'd all like our children's bedrooms to be places of peace, of bedtime stories and good night kisses. But often a child's bedroom is an area fraught with tensions. It's the place where children want to be private and put up their own posters, so they can use the space to forge their own identity. Yet parents often battle with their offspring for control of that space too, over issues like tidiness and the time a child actually goes to sleep.

In 'Bringing Up Britain' we explore the way in which the notion of the bedroom evolves and changes as children grow. What do youngsters need from their bedrooms and how do they manage to create private spaces when they have to share?

We also investigate the bedroom as a place of night fears - the domain of imaginary monsters and children being scared of the dark.

And we explore how, as divorce rates have increased, children increasingly have two different sleeping spaces in the houses of separated parents. How do they differentiate those bedrooms and what effect does it have on a bedtime routine?

Programme guests are Dr. Sian Lincoln, from John Moores University in Liverpool whose recent book on 'Youth Culture and Private Space' explores issues around bedrooms, Simon Williams, professor of Sociology at Warwick University who's investigated the politics of sleeping spaces, psychologist Dr. Pat Spungin, an expert on teenagers and sleeping routines and Professor Russell Foster from Oxford University who specialises in sleep and circadian rhythms.

Producer: Emma Kingsley.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

But as well as having specific challenges adoption also presents universal issues of authority, communication transparency and care. And with the government looking to speed up the adoption process we examine what this might mean for children in care and the adults who adopt them.

Guests include the Government's adoption adviser, Martin Narey.

Mariella Frostrup and guests discuss the parenting challenges associated with adoption.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Reports show that the numbers of children accessing explicit sexual images are growing. There's increasing concern that youngsters who watch pornography regularly may be tempted to act out scenes of abuse on other children, and that many kids' ideas about relationships and bodies are being affected by the images they are watching.

So what can parents and society do about it? Can we stop children watching pornography altogether? If not, what kinds of conversations should we have with our children about it, and what is the role for schools?

Joining Mariella are psychotherapist John Woods, Claire Perry MP, Leonie Hodge from Family Lives, the Deputy Children's Commissioner for England Sue Berelowitz and Jim Killock from the Open Rights Group.

We also hear the experiences of parents and teenagers and find out what they think about the effects of pornography.

Producer: Emma Kingsley.

Mariella discusses how we can best equip the next generation to deal with pornography.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Fast forward a couple of millennia and the role of character is again a hot topic. As a generation of children emerge into an adult world of fierce competition, shrinking job markets and over-subscribed and costly higher education, questions are being asked about how prepared they are for this strange new world. And with anxiety at epidemic levels and a huge rise in cases of depression in teenagers; could focus on character and character education be as important as grades in equipping children for an uncertain future.

Joining Mariella Frostrup to discuss this are Baroness Claire Tyler, Lib Dem peer from the Social Mobility All Party Parliamentary Group; Tom Harrison, the Deputy Director of the Jubilee Centre for Character and Values at the University of Birmingham; Tim Gill, a writer and consultant on childhood issues; Sue Atkins, a parenting expert, writer and coach , and Dr Anthony Seldon, Master of Wellington College.

Producer: Alison Hughes.

Mariella explores the significance of character in the parenting of the next generation.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Why are more astronauts first borns?

Can it really be true, as one study revealed that the first born child has an IQ 2.3 points higher than their subsequent siblings and as one longitudinal study has revealed, the younger you are in your family, the shorter you are likely to be.

Mariella is joined around the table by anthropologist, Professor Ruth Mace, clinical psychologist, Linda Blair and family relationship counsellor Suzy Hayman to sift and debate the evidence.

Producer: Sarah Taylor.

Mariella Frostrup and guests discuss the experience and evidence of birth order.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

With Christmas over, many children will have money they were given burning a hole in their pockets. Should we let them spend it on whatever they like or should we impose parental controls? What are the best ways to teach children about the value of money?

~Bringing Up Britain takes a look at money matters by investigating how the subjects of money and finance are being taught at home and in school. Mariella and her guests explore which are the most useful lessons for youngsters and how perceptions of money change as children grow.

We also investigate what parents tell youngsters about their own money situations. Whether we're challenged by austerity or seeing the green shoots of recovery, most parents will have found themselves pre-occupied by money matters in recent years. How much of that should we pass on to our children?

Mariella and her guests also discuss how we can talk to youngsters about changing financial circumstances - if a parent loses their job and money becomes tight for instance. Surveys have shown that kids understand more than we think and get worried about money too. How can we help ourselves and our children through the financial minefield?

On the panel are Anna Foster, Head of Services at P-FEG, the Personal Finance Education Group which works in schools, Dr Elizabeth Kilbey, a Consultant Clinical Psychologist who has been working with the Money Advice Service, Dr Rajiv Prabhaka, lecturer in personal finance at the Open University and author of The Assets Agenda and Dr. Esther Dermott from Bristol University who is one of the key researchers on the survey Poverty and Social Exclusion in the UK.

Producer: Emma Kingsley.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Recent reports suggest sibling rivalry can have an even more sinister impact - what starts out as simple bickering can become sibling bullying with traumatic and long-lasting effects.

Joining Mariella to discuss the issues are Professor Juliet Mitchell from Jesus College Cambridge, a literature scholar and an expert in the field of psychoanalysis, who's currently working on a book about siblings in Shakespeare.

Professor Dieter Wolke from the Department of Psychology at the University of Warwick , who's been researching sibling relationships for many years. He is shortly to publish work on sibling bullying.

Karen Doherty, co-author of the parent's guide Sibling Rivalry, Seven Simple Solutions,

And Tim Lott, a journalist on the Guardian's Family section and writer whose book Under the Same Stars was based on his often fraught relationship with his older brother.

Producer: Emma Kingsley.

From Cain and Abel to today, Mariella Frostrup and guests explore sibling rivalry.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Announcing the new policy, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has stated that 'women deserve the right to pursue their goals and not feel they have to choose between having a successful career or having a baby.

Mariella examines whether the idea of shared parental leave is the best way to give working mothers a more fulfilling career, and whether fathers will be prepared to spend more time at home with a new baby.

Few parenting dilemmas spark more debate than how to balance work and play. Mariella and her guests discuss the tricky juggling act and financial costs of childcare and examine current research into the impact of working parents on children.

Joining Mariella to debate the issues are Sarah Jackson, chief executive of Working Families, Laura Perrins, from Mothers At Home Matter, Sally Goddard Blythe, director of the Institute for Neuro-Physiological Psychology, Gideon Burrows, author of Men Can Do It, Dr Denise Hawkes, from the Institute of Education and Anji Hunter from Edelman, where she works to get equal numbers of women and men in British boardrooms.

Producer: Sarah Bowen.

Dad at home and mum back to work? Mariella Frostrup focuses on shared parental leave.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Parents who read to their children, talk at the dinner table and help with homework might have happy offspring, but will they be making them smarter?

In the light of research into the influence of genes, Mariella and her guests debate the role of parenting on intelligence. They explore recent research into the effect of exercise and sleep and ask what difference can breastfeeding, flashcards, violin lessons and superfoods really make.

For the first in a new series of Radio 4's parenting programme, Mariella is joined by Dr Stuart Richie, Postdoctoral Fellow in Cognitive Ageing at the University of Edinburgh, writer and consultant Sue Palmer, Dr Sophie von Stumm, Lecturer in Psychology at Goldsmiths and Director of their Hungry Mind Lab, and Hilary Wilce, writer, advice columnist and coach.

Producer: Sarah Bowen.

Mariella Frostrup and guests ask can you make your child smarter?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

What is the best way to break the news to your child? How should you manage sharing the children's time? When is it right to introduce new partners? Or should we just be trying harder to stay together for the kids?

Mariella is joined by Penny Mansfield from OnePlusOne, Bob Greig from OnlyDads, Jane Robey from National Family Mediation, Harry Benson from the Marriage Foundation and clinical psychologist, Angharad Rudkin, to discuss how best to parent through a divorce or separation.

Producer: Joel Cox.

Mariella Frostrup and guests look at how to parent through a separation or divorce.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Do children learn from their parents or act up due to the food they eat, too much screen time, their genetics or gender?

Mariella is joined by Oliver James, clinical psychologist, Penny Palmano, best-selling author on good manners, Stephen Scott, Professor of Child Health and Behaviour at Kings College London and Bonamy Oliver, Head of the Nurture Lab at the University of Sussex.

Mariella Frostrup and guests discuss the importance of good manners in young children.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Mariella Frostrup and a panel of experts discuss how parents can best help youngsters through the complicated subject of gender identity. What does gender identity actually mean and how soon do youngsters acquire their own sense of their gender? What should the role of parents be in cases where children want to explore different gender identities or demonstrate gender dysphoria?

Producer: Emma Kingsley.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Mariella also hears about the research that suggests that many children who usually receive free school meals eat a less healthy diet over the summer.

Producer Emma Kingsley.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Many parents do not see their children on a daily basis - on account of divorce or separation, or perhaps the pressures of working away from home or the demands of military deployment, or because the children attend a boarding school. So how do parents attempt to bridge the gap - and how much influence can they have?

Producer Emma Kingsley.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

There is little doubt that fertility declines progressively through life and many women are choosing to delay trying for a family until their mid- to late thirties, when fertility is declining even more rapidly. Yet more women in the UK are now having children over the age of 35 than under the age of 25 and for the first time, over 50% of babies born in the UK are to women over 30. But where once men having children was considered an option at any age, a recent study has found startling results - including a steep decline in male fertility after 35 and greater chances of abnormalities in babies. But are fertility experts who continue to remind us that fertility is finite and that delaying is fraught with risks, fighting a losing battle - given the many social and economic factors at play.

Producer: Mohini Patel.

Mariella Frostrup and guests explore the complex topic of the best age to start a family.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

They hear from Steve Bramhall who teaches philosophy and critical thinking at Aboyne Lodge Primary school in St Albans in Hertfordshire, with a class of 4 and 5 year olds and some of their parents.

Dr Nadia Siddiqui from the School of Education at Durham University shares her findings from a recent Nuffield Foundation study into the impact of the Philosophy for Children programme, in which she uncovered new data on the benefits of critical thinking skills as revealed by more than 2,500 - 9 to 12 year old pupils at 42 primary schools across the UK.

Members of the Manchester-based spoken word collective Young Identity discuss how they weigh up the truth of what they encounter in the media and on social media.

First News is published weekly. John Butterworth, with Geoff Thwaites, is author of Thinking Skills: Critical Thinking and Problem Solving. James Ball's book Post Truth - How Bullshit Conquered The World is available now and Viv Groskop's show Anchorwoman is on tour and will be at the Edinburgh Fringe this summer.

Producer: Dixi Stewart.

How can we nurture critical thinking skills in children and young people?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Producer: Mohini Patel.

How do you raise happy, optimistic children?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

The World Economic Forum forecasts that by 2020 creativity will be in the top 3 most important skills for future jobs. Many children going into school now will grow up to do a job that doesn't yet exist; faced with the challenges of AI, automation, green issues and an ageing population, creativity and imagination will be vital.

To find out where creativity comes from, how best we can nurture it and test the creative health of the nation, Mariella is joined by Vincent Walsh, Professor of Human Brain Research at University College London, Bernadette Duffy, early years consultant, John Last, Vice Chancellor of Norwich University of the Arts and Innovation Manager Nick Skillicorn.

Producer: Sarah Bowen.

Mariella Frostrup asks if we are bringing up children creative enough for the future.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

As they discuss furious toddlers, warring siblings, school exclusions and serious harm, Mariella and her guests explore the roots and impact of children's aggression. Questions for discussion include why some children are more aggressive than others, whether parents respond differently to aggression in boys and girls, whether violence is addictive, how parents can best deal with meltdowns and intimidation and where to draw the line between normal sibling rough and tumble and unacceptable attacks. As levels of school exclusions and knife attacks rise, contributors also explore possible links between children's aggression at home and school and rising violent crime among teenagers.

Joining Mariella are Child Psychologist Laverne Antrobus, the author Tim Samuels, Seamus Oates from the TBAP Multi-Academy Trust of Alternative Provision schools, Debra Spencer of the University of Cambridge and Jane Griffiths from Break4Change.

Mariella Frostrup explores children's aggression from the toddler years to teens.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

It seems that every day brings new headlines on smartphone addiction and the impact on our children. So how concerned should we be? With teens reporting issues such as cyber bullying and body dysmorphia linked to social media use, do we need to 'do something' about the effects of smartphones on children?

Mariella Frostrup is joined in the studio by Giles Dilnot from the Office of the Children's Commissioner, child psychotherapist Julie Lynn Evans, social media guru Ben Anderson from the Self Esteem Team, technology evangelist turned tech addiction campaigner Belinda Parmar and Andy Robertson - a journalist specialising in video games and families, to discuss how to parent in the smartphone age.

Producer: Sarah Shebbeare.

How to parent in the era of the smartphone?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

So how do we ensure that children develop good friendships? Is it a skill you're born with or one that parents can nurture? And how involved should adults be in a child's social life? How and when do young children make relationships, what happens when it goes wrong and can we make it go right? Plus, stepping beyond the boundary of childhood - Is good friendship more than an individual's happiness, can it also shape a healthier society?

Mariella Frostrup is joined in the studio by consultant child and adolescent psychotherapist Lydia Hartland-Rowe from the Tavistock and Portman NHS Trust, Liz Robinson co-head of Surrey Square Primary School in London, Anna-May Mangan a self-confessed pushy mum of 4 who wrote a book to help her daughters get into medical school. And Dr Sally Marlow, mental health researcher from The Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience at King's College London.

Producer: Philly Beaumont.

Mariella Frostrup and guests debate how best to help children establish good friendships.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

What's happening in the lives of our children that might be causing and adding to their anxiety. Are they really more anxious, or are we as parents passing on own fears and worries - and becoming more eager to get them diagnosed? What is ‘normal' anxiety through childhood, how can it be used in a positive way, and how can we spot when it starts to get out of control. We'll hear from one young woman Saira who has struggled with anxiety throughout her teens, and find out the negative impact it can have on family life, social life and school life if not treated properly. Plus, we visit the parenting workshop offering top tips to mums and dads worried about their kids' anxious behaviour.

Next in the series Mariella will tackling lying: the best way to negotiate the tangled web of a deceit in a post truth world. And also coming up, parents v teachers. We discuss whether parents are abdicating their responsibilities and leaving teachers to perform duties best done in the home, and find out why this is one relationship they should really be prioritising.

Producer: Katy Takatsuki

Photo: With Mariella Frostrup are guests (L-R) Jane Caro, Tim Gill, Dr Kathy Weston, Professor Tamsin Ford.

How to parent an anxious child.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Mariella Frostrup explores why our children lie, asking how best to bring up children into a post-truth world.

She hears research that highlights how bad parents are at spotting their own children's lies, new ways that work to encourage honesty and how punishing a liar can often backfire.

Parents walk a fine line when they expect truth from their children while lying themselves. A new study exposes the impact our deceit can have on young children and Melissa Guida-Richards tells the heart wrenching moment she discovered the truth about herself, the shock of finding her whole identity had been built on her parents' lies.

But when are children ready for those big truths, how should we respond to difficult questions about death, divorce or terrorism?

Is lying a necessity that makes the world go round or are we on a slippery slope, where our small lies are escalating without us noticing?

Teasing apart the tangled web of deceit with Mariella are Chartered Psychologist, Dr Sarah Kuppen, Senior Lecturer in Developmental Psychology at Anglia Ruskin University, Dr Angharad Rudkin, Clinical Psychologist at the University of Southampton, Dr Hannah Cassidy, Senior Lecturer in Forensic Psychology at the University of Brighton, and Ian Leslie, author of Born Liars.

Mariella Frostrup asks how best to raise children into a post-truth world.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Simultaneously, parents are being increasingly relied upon by schools to fill ever larger gaps; from music, art and sports activities to subsidising anything from teaching equipment like books and glues to essentials like toilet paper. In addition, more parents are being asked to pay for school clubs, sports days and concerts- all of which used to be free.

So what is the current state of this crucial relationship and what role are parents playing in the education picture? Mariella Frostrup is joined by headteacher Sarah Hewitt Clarkson, Madeleine Holt co-founder of Rescue Our Schools, Ruth Lowe from Parentkind and Anastasia de Waal - Director of the Family & Education Unit at Civitas.

Producer: Katy Takatsuki

Mariella Frostrup explores why teachers are increasingly playing parent.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Anjula Mutanda speaks to Naomi, a mother of two who fears she has fallen into the over-parenting trap. Mutanda brings together a series of experts from anthropologists to child psychologists and economists to explore the relentlessness of modern parenting and provide Naomi with some answers.

Producer: Sarah Shebbeare

Anjula Mutanda helps one guest make sense of one big parenting question.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Anjula speaks to Psychologist Dr Matthew Hall of Arden University about Vanessa's concerns and hears figures that suggest she's very far from alone. He talks about some of the impacts of body image anxiety, ranging from mental health issues to the misuse of steroid's and dietary illness.

And she seeks for advice from Julie Cameron of the Mental Health Foundation who co-authored a report for the Scottish government on Body Image. She also hears from Ella Guest of the Centre for Appearance Research at the University of the West of England where they're encouraging interventions in schools to equip boys to be aware of media exaggeration and manipulation.

And finally she talks to Rachel Barber-Mack of MediaSmart about efforts being made to help boys navigate the images that they're bombarded with on social media and the internet.

Producer: Tom Alban

Anjula Mutanda helps one guest make sense of one big parenting question

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Anjula Mutanda speaks to Lauren, a mother of one, who asks herself every day whether having a second child is the right decision for her and her family. We explore the issue in detail: why does the word 'only child' have such negative connotations? How important is having a sibling anyway? How much does having a child cost today? Should we be having more children in the age of climate change and in the midst of a global pandemic?

Producer: Sarah Shebbeare

Anjula Mutanda helps one guest make sense of one big parenting question

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Anjula and guests help Sara decide if she should take her children out of school. Her 8 and 9 year old are happy there but Sara feels they are not inspired by what they are learning, they aren't intellectually curious and their grades aren't great. And this term has been a real challenge, disrupted by the pandemic.

Having experimented with home schooling during lockdown, Sara thinks she might be able to teach them better herself. But what about friends and sport and extracurricular? Will they be thought of as strange and draw unwanted attention from the authorities? Can they sit exams and what is even legal?

Anjula gathers together home education experts who debunk many myths, find surprising answers and help Sara make that decision.

Joining Anjula are Alison Sauer from the Centre for Personalised Education, Gordon Harold, Professor of the Psychology of Education and Mental Health at Cambridge University, home education researcher Dr Helen Lees, Chartered Educational and Child Psychologist Dr Paul Kelly and Dr Amelia Roberts from UCL's Centre for Inclusive Education.

Producer: Sarah Bowen

Anjula Mutanda and guests debate if Sara should take her children out of school.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Anjula Mutanda asks how we can help the young negotiate the complexities of romantic and sexual relationships.

Eleanor's first boyfriend said he had deleted the nude photographs he had persuaded her to send. She was slut shamed and traumatised at school, withdrawing from lessons and self-harming. She moved schools but he sent them to her new classmates; she was blackmailed by strangers and didn't know where to turn for help.

Anjula asks to what extent these toxic relationships are now normalised amongst teens. It is rare to find a girl who hasn't been asked for nude photos or sent dick pics. Possessiveness is now framed as romantic, and in a recent Safe Lives survey, 70% of teenagers said they had seen behaviour that worried them in their friends' relationships.

Exploring how to spot unhealthy behaviour, how to talk to the young about nudes, sex and consent and the surprisingly positive role of the media, Anjula is joined by Founder of Big Talk Education, Lynette Smith; Susie Hay, psychotherapist and Safe Lives' Head of Research, Evaluation and Analysis; Kaitlynn Mendes, Associate Professor Of Sociology at Western University; Tanya Horeck, Associate Professor in Film, Media and Culture at Anglia Ruskin University and the team from the arts charity Tender.

Producer: Sarah Bowen

Organisations offering information and support:

ChildLine is a free, 24-hour confidential helpline for children and young people who need to talk

Phone: 0800 1111 https://www.childline.org.uk/

NSPCC provides help, advice and support to adults worried about a child

Phone: 0808 800 5000 (24/7) https://www.nspcc.org.uk/

Pace (Parents against child exploitation) works alongside parents and carers of children who are - or are at risk of being - sexually exploited

Phone: 0113 240 5226 https://paceuk.info/

Family Lives provides help and support in all aspects of family life, including bullying

Phone: 0808 800 2222 www.familylives.org.uk

Please visit the action lines dedicated information and support pages for:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/22VVM5LPrf3pjYdKqctmMXn/information-and-support-sexual-abuse-and-violence

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2MfW34HqH7tTCtnmx7LVfzp/information-and-support-victims-of-crime

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/1NGvFrTqWChr03LrYlw2Hkk/information-and-support-mental-health-self-harm

What do you do if your teenager daughter is sending nudes to an untrustworthy boyfriend?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

In this first episode, Anjula speaks to Sophie, a mother who was adamant she would protect her children from society's expectations of them, but finds herself with a toddler son who loves tractors and trains and a three-year-old daughter who loves pink and princesses. Sophie wants to know how these stereotypical interests get ingrained so young and whether it matters for her children's future lives and relationships. Anjula brings together a series of experts from neuroscientists, to sociologists and psychologists to explore the gender norms children learn from the moment they are born and provide some answers for Sophie.

Producer: Ellie Bury

Anjula Mutanda helps one parent make sense of one big parenting question.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

In this episode, Anjula speaks to Lavinia, a mother of two boys aged 5 and 10 who wants to know how to prepare her older son for the world he's entering, while protecting him from life's harsh realities. While there has rightly been a huge focus on girls' wellbeing in recent years, are boys being left behind, or even discriminated against? Anjula brings together a series of experts from psychologists, to teachers and child development experts to explore just what boys on the cusp of adolescence are facing today.

Producer: Ellie Bury

Anjula Mutanda helps one parent make sense of one big parenting question.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Do children do better academically or is that just a myth? Do they flourish in the classroom away from the opposite sex or does it make them awkward and unprepared for the real world?

In the light of Everyone's Invited, there has been renewed interest in all girls' schools. But what are facts? If you have the choice of single-sex education should you take it?

Anjula explores the pros and cons, unearthing the latest research to find out how it might shape a child's confidence and sporting opportunities, their understanding of gender and sexual preference. She asks if single sex schools can protect girls from sexual harassment and discovers they do significantly affect the chances of a happy marriage.

The programme follows Ailsa who is facing the choice of an all girls' or co-ed school for her daughters.

To help her decide, Anjula is joined by a panel of experts:

Jessica Ringrose, Professor of the Sociology of Gender and Education at University College London; Lise Eliot Professor of Neuroscience at Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine and Science; Kevin Stannard, Director of Innovation and Learning at The Girls' Day School Trust; Katja Kaufmann, Professor of Economics at Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz; Ivy Wong, Associate Professor of Psychology at the Chinese University of Hong Kong; Sue Woodroofe, Principal at The Grammar School at Leeds and author and teacher Mark Roberts.

Producer: Sarah Bowen

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

In this first episode Anjula meets Claire, a mother of three who became involved in climate activism during the pandemic. She wants to raise responsible children but knows first hand the anxiety climate awareness can cause, and doesn't want to put the weight of the world on their very young shoulders. So how can parents engage with their children about climate issues in an age appropriate way? To find out Anjula hears from:

Dr Thomas Doherty, a psychologist with a specialism in nature and mental health

Caroline Hickman, a psychotherapist and researcher into eco-anxiety at the University of Bath

Year Six pupils from Brookfield School in London

Dr Atle Dyregrov, a clinical psychologist and Director of the Centre for Crisis Psychology in Bergen, Norway

David Sobel, Professor Emeritus in the Education Department at Antioch University, New England

James Diffey, Assistant Researcher in the Climate Cares team, part of the Institute for Global Health Innovation, at Imperial College London

Presenter: Anjula Mutanda

Producer: Ellie Bury

Anjula Mutanda helps one guest make sense of one big parenting question

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

It can start in childhood but shape your whole life - impacting your career choices, earning potential, even chances of going to prison.

Anjula Mutanda asks where and when does it start, what role do teachers and parents play and is there a remedy. Why are UK students more anxious about maths than anywhere else in the world and what impact could this little discussed anxiety be having on the nation?

14 year old Noah tells Anjula what maths anxiety really feels like and how it affects his life at school. His parents are eager to know how they can help - they're fine supporting him in every other subject, but have no idea what to do with maths anxiety.

To help answer questions and find solutions, Anjula is joined by:

Professor Margaret Brown, President of the Maths Anxiety Trust; cognitive scientist and President of Barnard College Professor Sian Beilock; Stanford Maths Education Professor Jo Boaler; Tom Hunt, Associate Professor of Psychology and lead of the University of Derby's Mathematics Anxiety Research Group; Roi Cohen Kadosh, Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at the University of Surrey and PhD researcher at Abertay University, Dawn Short.

Producer: Sarah Bowen

Maths anxiety could be impacting 20% of the country, but few people know what it is.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

In this episode Anjula meets Hannah, a mother of two who feels she was negatively affected by the diet culture she witnessed growing up. She wants her children to take pleasure in food without feeling guilty but feels society gives parents and children mixed messages about obesity on one hand, and body positivity on the other. So how can we raise children with a healthy, happy relationship with food? To find out Anjula hears from:

Dr Julie Mennella, biopsychologist and expert in early nutritional programming

Jackie Blissett, Professor of Childhood Eating Behaviour and Co-Director of Institute of Health and Neurodevelopment, Aston University

Dr Jason O'Rourke, headteacher of Washingborough Academy Primary School

Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, Professor, Epidemiology & Community Health, University of Minnesota

Sarah Bowen, Professor of Sociology at North Carolina State University

Presenter: Anjula Mutanda

Producer: Ellie Bury

Anjula Mutanda helps one parent deal with one big parenting question.

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Many see it as a change in parenting that is much needed for today's world. So what is it exactly? How does it work in practice? And should this form of parenting be shaping the next generation of kids? Anjula Mutanda meets a mum of two boys under 4 who wants to find out more from a set of experts.

Our experts:

Dr Mona Delahooke is a paediatric psychologist and the author of 'Brain-Body Parenting'.

Sarah Ockwell-Smith has written 13 parenting books, including 'The Gentle Parenting Book'.

Dr Kristyn Sommer is a child developmental expert who conducts research on children's early cognitive, social and emotional development.

Producer: Sarah Shebbeare

The gentle approach to parenting explained

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

Some parents think being a friend to their child will make parenting easier, that the child is more likely to do what they want because they are friends. Others believe this strategy will confuse the child and that children need firm boundaries.

Angela Mutanda explores some key questions: how do I find the right balance between parenting and friendship when it comes to my child? Will being a friend to my child make parenting easier? What are the dangers of being a friend to my child rather than a parent?

She meets a mum-of-two, a 14-year-old daughter and a nine-year-old son, who is struggling to find the best way to parent each one and looking for advice from the experts.

The Guests:

Catherine Hallissey, chartered psychologist based in Ireland

Jennifer Symonds, Associate Professor of Education, University College Dublin

Alun Ebenezer, founding headmaster of Fulham Boys School, London

Jenny Warwick, BACP registered counsellor in Sussex.

Producer: Mohini Patel

Should I be a parent or a friend to my child?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

We look at the hard facts about sex versus gender, the competing views there are about the emotional and developmental impact of a child exploring their gender identity, as well as the role of parents, teachers and peers. And we meet a parent who needs some advice about how to answer any questions from his young son if and when he asks.

Our Experts:

BBC's LGBT and Identity correspondent Lauren Moss.

Dr Dane Duncan, clinical psychologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital.

Dr Shereen Benjamin, senior lecturer in education at University of Edinburgh.

Jenny Warwick, BACP registered counsellor in Sussex.

Producer: Mohini Patel

How should I talk to my children about gender identity?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

But do more children have ADHD and what should you think about when considering taking your child for an assessment? Is it always the right thing to do?

Anjula Mutanda meets mum Fran who worries her 13 year old daughter might have ADHD. She fidgets, can't concentrate and is getting into trouble at school.

She is in two minds about taking her daughter for an assessment: NHS waiting lists are long and school haven't mentioned it. And she is concerned about putting her on the medication so young - is it addictive, what are the side effects? On the other hand, are the downsides of never being diagnosed if you do have ADHD?

To help Fran decide, Anjula discovers what ADHD really is, where is comes from and why more boys seem to have it than girls. She finds out about the pros and the cons of medication and how yoga and cycling might help.

Anjula is joined by: Edmund Sonuga-Barke, Professor of Developmental Psychology, Psychiatry and Neuroscience at Kings College London; Dr Jane Gilmour, Consultant Clinical Psychologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital, Dr Max Davie from ADHD UK, Consultant Adolescent Psychiatrist and CAMHS lead for North of Scotland Dr Kandarp Joshi, Dr Ellie Dommett from King's ADHD Research Lab and Assistant Head Teacher Sarah Finch.

Producer: Sarah Bowen

What should parents consider when thinking about seeking a diagnosis?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.

University students made a record number of complaints last year to the higher education watchdog, and a recent YouGov poll found the majority asked, said university tuition fees were 'bad value for money'.

So is university worth it? What does it really cost and what are the options if you decide not to go?

Anjula Mutanda meets mum Sophie who is unsure if she should encourage two of her teenage boys to go to university. Her eldest, Alexander, has a place at Oxford Brookes for September, but he is admittedly unacademic, dislikes studying, and his only visit to a lecture theatre filled him with horror. Her youngest is bright but would like to get stuck into work as soon as possible. He wants to be an entrepreneur and believes his school are encouraging him to think about university for the wrong reasons.

What should Sophie advise them to do?

Anjula's panel this week is: Charlie Ball, Head of labour market intelligence at Jisc, Save the Student's Tom Allingham, Prof Tom Sperlinger, author of 'Who are universities for?', Helen Small, Merton Professor of English Language and Literature, Dan Keller, CEO of Unifrog and Peter Gray, research professor of psychology at Boston College.

Producer: Sarah Bowen

Should we be encouraging our children to go to university? Is it really worth it?

Helping families make sense of one big parenting question.