Ayres On The Air

Pam Ayres brings her own poetry and sketch show to Radio 4 with the help of actors Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu

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Episodes

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0101Human Deterioration2004070520041229
20070109 (BBC7)
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Sexy at 60, and going topless. Poetry and sketches with Pam Ayres and guests.

Sexy at 60, and going topless. Poetry and sketches with Pam Ayres, Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. From May 2004.

Pam Ayres presents her own poetry and sketches.

From May 2004.

With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

This week's theme is deterioration...

of eyesight, figure, memory...

the list goes on.

There are poems about being too fat and buying a Wonderbra.

There are also sketches about being topless at 60 and how to spice up your love life with a little celebrity fantasy in a sketch called Me and Michael Aspel

Pam Ayres brings us her own poetry and sketches.

She looks at deterioration; of eyesight, figure and memory, the list goes on!

0102Holidays2004071220050105
20070116 (BBC7)
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20080115 BT=1730 (BBC7)
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The challenges of online booking, travelling light and skiing.

The challenges of online booking, travelling light and skiing. Poetry and sketches with Pam Ayres and friends. From May 2004.

Poetry and sketches with Pam Ayres and friends.

From May 2004.

Pam Ayres presents more of her own poetry and sketches.

With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

Pam Ayres gets away from it all.

Helping her are Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

Helping her pack are Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

Poems and sketches from May 2004.

This week there are poems about packing too much and learning to ski at fifty plus.

There are also sketches about booking a holiday online and getting shingles up the Orinoco.

Pam turns her attention to Holidays - helping her pack are Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

0103The Countryside2004071920050112
20070123 (BBC7)
20070124 (BBC7)
20080122 (BBC7)
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20110919 (BBC7)
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Bored chickens and aggrieved starlings. Rural poetry and sketches from Pam Ayres.

Bored chickens and aggrieved starlings. Rural poetry and sketches from Pam Ayres. With Felicity Montagu. From June 2004.

Bored chickens and aggrieved starlings.

Rural poetry and sketches from Pam Ayres.

With Felicity Montagu.

From June 2004.

Pam Ayres presents more of her own poetry and sketches.

With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

This week there are poems about grand plans for a garden and about being a battery hen.

There are also sketches about the joys of buying a tractor and how the townie views the country life.

This week Pam explores the country with poems and sketches about being a battery hen and the usefulness of chainsaw classes.

This week Pam explores the country, with poems and sketches about being a battery hen and the joys of buying a tractor.

The popular poet explores the country, with poems and sketches about being a battery hen and the joys of buying a tractor.

0104 LASTChildren2004072620050119
20070130 (BBC7)
20070131 (BBC7)
20080129 (BBC7)
20080130 (BBC7)
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20090313 (BBC7)
20090314 (BBC7)
20091204 (BBC7)
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20110926 (BBC7)
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Poetry and sketches, including a school play and parents discussing s-e-x.

Pam Ayres presents more of her own poetry and sketches, including a school play and parents discussing s-e-x. With Geoffrey Whitehead. From June 2004.

Pam Ayres presents more of her own poetry and sketches.

From June 2004.

With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

Are all the tears and tantrums worth it? Pam Ayres thinks so, and dedicates her sketch show to children.

This week there are poems about being pregnant and on the challenge of getting children off to school in the morning.

There are also sketches on parental pride at the Nativity play and how to survive a visit from the grandchildren.

0201Fame2006032020070305
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The pitfalls of celebrity feature in Pam Ayres's poetry and sketches.

The pitfalls of celebrity feature in Pam Ayres's poetry and sketches. With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. From March 2006.

The pitfalls of celebrity feature in Pam Ayres's poetry and sketches. From March 2006.

Pam Ayres returns with a new series packed with poetry, anecdotes and sketches, in which she's joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead

0202Animals2006032720070312
20070312 (BBC7)
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Parrots, limpets and highland cattle are in Pam Ayres's poetic zoo.

Parrots, limpets and highland cattle are in Pam Ayres's poetic zoo. Stanzas and sketches with Felicity Montagu. From March 2006.

0203Travel2006040320070319
20120208 (BBC7)
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Pam admits to being a poor map reader.

Pam admits to being a poor map reader. Poetry and sketches with Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. From April 2006.

Pam admits to being a poor map reader. Poetry and sketches with Felicity Montagu.

0204Motherhood2006041020070326
20120215 (BBC7)
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Maternal highs and lows from Pam Ayres in poetry and sketches. With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. From April 2006.

Maternal highs and lows from Pam Ayres in poetry and sketches.

Maternal highs and lows from Pam Ayres in poetry and sketches. With Felicity Montagu.

0205The Old Days2006041720070402
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Pam Ayres uses poetry and sketches to illustrate fond memories.

Pam Ayres uses poetry and sketches to illustrate fond memories. With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. From April 2006.

0206 LASTFood2006042420120229 (BBC7)
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Prose and sketches about Pam's world of food, from childhood to the present day.

Prose and sketches about Pam's world of food, from childhood to the present day. With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. From April 2006.

With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

0301Passion2009081920091230
20130125 (BBC7)
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How to get all loved up. Poetry and sketches from Pam Ayres.

How to get all loved up. Poetry and sketches from Pam Ayres. With Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. From August 2009.

Featuring poems about the difficulty of getting a new mattress up the stairs - the heartfelt plea Don't Ask Me to the Wedding - and a poem dedicated to her husband, entitled I Still Haven't Given Up Hope.

Pam is joined on stage by actors Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu for sketches about speed dating, trying to inject a bit of excitement into a relationship and how to pay your husband back when he interrupts your favourite Bruce Springsteen DVD.

Pam Ayres returns with a new series packed with poetry, anecdotes and sketches.

Pam Ayres is joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

0302In The Doghouse2009082620100106
20130201 (BBC7)
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Wet noses and wagging tails. Poetry and sketches from Pam Ayres. With Felicity Montagu.

Pam Ayres returns with a new series packed with poetry, anecdotes and sketches.

Poems include Toaster, about Pam's son's dog and its phobia; I'm the Dog Who Didn't Win a Prize, written by Pam after she was asked to be a judge at a competition; and Tippy Tappy Feet, about the things you miss when your best friend goes to the great kennel in the sky.

Pam is joined on stage by actors Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu for sketches on what dogs talk to each other about and how a new puppy can cause more excitement in some families than a new baby.

Pam is joined on stage by actors Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu for sketches about what dogs talk to each other about and how a new puppy can cause more excitement in some families than a new baby.

Poems and sketches on the theme of In the Doghouse.

0303On Yer Bike2009090220100113
20130208 (BBC7)
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Pam Ayres returns with a new series packed with poetry, anecdotes and sketches.

Pam is joined by Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu for poems about French cycling holidays, the up-side to riding a tandem, getting fit on gym bikes and how to banish the middle-age blues by getting kitted out with a motorbike and leathers.

From tandems to gym bikes, Pam Ayres' poems and sketches.

Poems and sketches about French cycling holidays and banishing the middle-age blues.

0304 LASTShopping2009090920100120
20130215 (BBC7)
20130216 (BBC7)
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Strife in store and wearing beige. Pam's poems and sketches on the subject of shopping.

Pam Ayres returns with a new series packed with poetry, anecdotes and sketches.

Pam is joined on stage by Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu for poems and sketches on the subject of Shopping. Featuring sketches about braving the cosmetics department, and how some shop assistants think anyone over 40 should only wear beige.

Pam's shopping poems include 'Nowadays We Worship at Saint Tesco', the Contact Lens poem and 'I Can't Find Nice Knickers', one of her briefer poems.

Pam is joined on stage by Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu for poems and sketches on the subject of Shopping.

Featuring sketches about braving the cosmetics department, and how some shop assistants think anyone over 40 should only wear beige.

Poems and sketches on the subject of Shopping.

0401Spring2012091720140911

Popular poet Pam Ayres is joined in her poetry and sketch show by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look at the season of Spring.

This week she looks subjects such as flowers and animals in springtime, spring elections plus she has some unusual tips for spring cleaning.

Her poems this week include: I Was Standing by the Cow; Heaps of Stuff; Barking: Fleeced and the Snoring Poem.

Produced by Claire Jones.

0401Spring2012091720120918
20120923 (BBC7)
20121015 (R4)

Popular poet Pam Ayres is joined in her poetry and sketch show by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look at the season of Spring.

This week she looks subjects such as flowers and animals in springtime, spring elections plus she has some unusual tips for spring cleaning.

Her poems this week include: I Was Standing by the Cow; Heaps of Stuff; Barking: Fleeced and the Snoring Poem.

Produced by Claire Jones

Pam Ayres, Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead offer poetry and sketches about Spring.

First on 4 Extra. Pam Ayres presents a poetry and sketch series about the seasons. She is joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead to look at Spring.

0402Summer2012092420140925

Popular poet Pam Ayres is joined in her poetry and sketch show by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look at the season of Summer.

This week she looks subjects such as keeping cool, finding the perfect swimsuit, summer weddings and eating al fresco.

Her poems this week include: No Alarm on the Flight Deck, That Perfect Swimsuit, The Seagull and The Swifts Are Back.

Produced by Claire Jones.

0402Summer2012092420120925
20120930 (BBC7)
20121022 (R4)

Popular poet Pam Ayres is joined in her poetry and sketch show by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look at the season of Summer.

This week she looks subjects such as keeping cool, finding the perfect swimsuit, summer weddings and eating al fresco.

Her poems this week include: No Alarm on the Flight Deck, That Perfect Swimsuit, The Seagull and The Swifts Are Back.

Produced by Claire Jones.

Pam Ayres looks at subjects like keeping cool and finding the perfect swimsuit.

Pam Ayres presents her poetry and sketch show about the seasons. She is joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look at Summer.

Pam Ayres, Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead offer poetry and sketches about Summer.

0403Autumn2012100120141002

Popular poet Pam Ayres presents her poetry and sketch show. She is joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look this week at Autumn.

She looks at subjects such as what to donate to the harvest festival, interesting things to put on a bonfire, checking out retirement homes in the Autumn of one's life and the choosing a suitable evening class for you husband.

Her poems this week include: I Don't Want to Go to School Mum and The Harvest Hymn.

Produced by Claire Jones.

0403Autumn2012100120121002
20121007 (BBC7)
20121029 (R4)

Popular poet Pam Ayres presents her poetry and sketch show. She is joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look this week at Autumn.

She looks at subjects such as what to donate to the harvest festival, interesting things to put on a bonfire, checking out retirement homes in the Autumn of one's life and the choosing a suitable evening class for you husband.

Her poems this week include: I Didn't Want to Go to School Mum and The Harvest Hymn.

Produced by Claire Jones

Pam Ayres, Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead offer poetry and sketches about Autumn.

Pam Ayres presents her poetry and sketch show about the seasons. She is joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look at all things Autumn-related.

0404 LASTWinter2012100820121009
20121014 (BBC7)
20121105 (R4)
20141009 (R4)

Popular poet Pam Ayres is joined in her poetry and sketch series by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead. This week they focus on Winter.

This week she looks at subjects including that magic combination of cold weather and broken boilers; the art of comparing ailments; she updates the Yuletide song The 12 Days of Christmas and, as we reach the end of the Winter season tells how to fan the dying flame of passion, come Valentine's Day.

Her poems this week include: Who's Had My Scissors, Ever Since I Had Me Op and Insomnia.

Produced by Claire Jones.

Pam Ayres, Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead offer poetry and sketches about Winter.

Pam Ayres presents her poetry and sketch show about the seasons. She is joined by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead as they look at all things Winter-related.

0501Home2014011720150317 (BBC7)
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Pam Ayres presents poems and sketches, with Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead.

Pam Ayres regales her Radio 4 audience with poems, stories and sketches, this week on the subject of Home.

She is joined on stage by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead, with Geoffrey playing her long-suffering husband 'Gordon'.

This week Pam talks about her first home, about the impact of her grown up sons leaving home and about the unwelcome prospect of downsizing. There are also looks at how making your home more 'vintage' can go too far, some handy hints on how to make your child feel more at home if they have to return to the nest post-university, and how your homelife changes when both partners have retired. We are also treated to some wry observations on how our homes have now become so hi-tech we can barely change channels on the TV, and how to approach the thorny issue of moving into single beds when your partner's snoring becomes too much to bear.

Poems include: A September Song, My Little Grandson & Pollen on the Wind

Sketch writers: James Bugg, Jan Etherington, Claire Jones, Grainne McGuire, Andy Wolton and Tom Neenan.

Producer: Claire Jones.

0502Horses2014012420150324 (BBC7)
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Pam shares her love of horses. She is joined by Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu.

Pam Ayres regales her Radio 4 audience with poems, stories and sketches, this week on a subject close to her heart: Horses.

She is joined on stage by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead, with Geoffrey playing her long-suffering husband 'Gordon'.

This week Pam talks about her first memories of going to the races as a little girl, about the significance of leg positioning in statues of horses, and she shares an intriguing story of being flattered by a stranger's attentions at the Badminton Horse Trials.

Poems include: The Racehorse Fred, The Stuffed Horse & Dreaming of Fresh Fields.

Sketch writers: James Bugg, Jan Etherington, Grainne McGuire, Andy Wolton and Tom Neenan.

Producer: Claire Jones.

0503Self-sufficiency2014013120150331 (BBC7)
20150324 (R4)

Pam Ayres talks about her love of allotments, beekeeping and knitting.

Pam Ayres regales her Radio 4 audience with poems, stories and sketches, this week on a subject close to her heart: self-sufficiency.

She is joined on stage by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead, with Geoffrey playing her long-suffering husband 'Gordon'.

This week Pam talks about her love of allotments, knitting and her more recent love of beekeeping.

Poems include: The Allotment Rustler, Over-Penguinisation, Behold My Bold Provider, Stuck on You and The Litter Moron.

Sketch writers: James Bugg, Grainne McGuire, Andy Wolton and Tom Neenan.

Producer: Claire Jones.

0504Beauty2014020720150407 (BBC7)
20150331 (R4)

Pam Ayres looks at beauty and that newly coined term 'wellness'.

Poet Pam Ayres brings her Radio 4 audience half an hour packed with poems, stories and sketches, this week on the subject of beauty and, that newly-coined term, wellness.

She is joined on stage by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead, with Geoffrey playing her long-suffering husband 'Gordon'.

This week Pam talks about meeting Phyllis Diller and finding out about 'chin brown', she recalls buying a very unsuitable outfit having admired it on someone else and explains how you know when you've put on a little too much weight.

Poems include: Too much of a Fag, Did I Turn off My Tongs?, Had a Little Work Done, Pilates, Once I Was a Looker And So Was My Spouse, and the legendary I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth.

Sketch writers: James Bugg, Grainne McGuire, Claire Jones, Andy Wolton and Tom Neenan.

Producer: Claire Jones.

0504 LASTBeauty20140207

Poet Pam Ayres brings her Radio 4 audience half an hour packed with poems, stories and sketches, this week on the subject of beauty and, that newly-coined term, wellness.

She is joined on stage by Felicity Montagu and Geoffrey Whitehead, with Geoffrey playing her long-suffering husband 'Gordon'.

This week Pam talks about meeting Phyllis Diller and finding out about 'chin brown', she recalls buying a very unsuitable outfit having admired it on someone else and explains how you know when you've put on a little too much weight.

Poems include: Too much of a Fag, Did I Turn off My Tongs?, Had a Little Work Done, Pilates, Once I Was a Looker And So Was My Spouse, and the legendary I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth.

Sketch writers: James Bugg, Grainne McGuire, Claire Jones, Andy Wolton and Tom Neenan.

Producer: Claire Jones.